Shouldn't Have To Ask...

You and I, we're together, supposedly in body and soul. So why is it that I feel this disconnect, from you?

You should lust for me. Your body should long for my touch, my caress. Your fingers should instinctively know the places I need to be touched. Instead, I sit here, waiting for some affection, and I shouldn't have to ask.

I wait up nights, for when you're not busy. I end up going to bed alone, because you found other things, more interesting than me. I hate going to bed alone, I want you there, and I shouldn't have to ask.

You should be interested in my mind and my thoughts. You should thirst for my words to quench your thirst. Instead, I have to speak up, remind you that I'm still here, but I shouldn't have to ask.

Our hearts should be in sync. Our thoughts should be intertwined. We should be one, whole being. And I find myself wondering where you are in this . Do you even love me? I shouldn't have to ask.

Sorry Excuse for Sorry

What is an apology? Is it admitting that you are wrong, or that someone else was right? Is it admitting guilt or stupidity? Or could it be more meaningful? Could it be that maybe you meant the words you said, but you are sorry they were hurtful? That you meant what you did at the time, but now that you see the repercussion, you regret it?

What if you didn't say "I'm sorry"? What if you said "I apologize"? Does that really translate to "I'm sorry that you're so stupid that you got your feelings hurt, so here is a token apology so you can manage to take my insult and get over it, quickly"?

If someone isn't sorry at all, they just want to end the discord, do you even want their apology to smooth things over, or do you really want them to be honestly and truly sorry in their heart? They may be incapable of that. They may be so vain as to truly believe that they are not wrong, not now and not ever. They may feel that it is their God-given right to set you straight, and if a few feelings get trampled in the process, well then it's your fault for being overly sensitive. Do people really act that way? Yes, they do. I know a few of them personally.

So what do you do? Accept a cheap apology because your love and life together mean so much more than this petty disagreement and some hurt feelings, or stand your ground, possibly being stubborn, and maybe end up alone? And if you do "get over" it, won't this just keep happening over and over again because no one has learned a lesson or changed a behavior?

Compromise comes into play here. If you'll sincerely admit you were an ass, and I agree that you were an ass, and we both agreed to not do this to each other again, I think we can let it slide without an apology.

The Necessary-ness of Blogging

I have so much to say. Really, I just want to talk crap about people I know, and the things that they do. I can't blog in a normal social networking forum, because they will know it's them I am talking about!!! So I will spill all my dirty little secrets to you...